New Age Pool Results

The Tri-Annual Tournament of Twons was held yesterday at the illustrious House of Shock, setting the all-time attendance record with seven contestants. Last evening’s competition also saw the first ever use of Phone-a-Friend^TM as well as the lowest score of all time. The music was also especially bad, but the refreshments were great!

The first round saw Beowulf and his infamous pool stix Hrunting facing off against Ballecitine Castle who was also facing off against Lord Byron. In fact, all three were facing off against each other. There was plenty of facing off, which meant many faces would be rocked. And despite a slow start with dizzy penalties, several trick shots and a Twister^TM bonus rocketed Ballecitine Castle to the top with an impressive final score of 310, just 12 points shy of the table record of 322. Lord Byron followed with a respectable 106, while Beowulf and his mighty Hrunting could not seem to get it together, ending with a sorry 46 points, the lowest score recorded in New Age Pool history.

The next round was equally exciting, with N.A.P. rookie Murf Butterburger clinching the victory with a solid 214 points. Veteran poolster Chaos Akimbo slid by with a score of 78, just ten points more than long-time N.A.P. athlete Domino the Kid. Talk about an upset!

In a brief intermission, Zach and McGuirk’s ‘challenge video’ was shown, to much laughter and applause. Good work, guys.

But the most exciting round was about to begin. The winners of the first two rounds, Ballecitine Castle and Murf Butterburger, respectively, would pick their crews for the final battle to decide who was truly worthy of the Tournament of Twons Title, and who would get served. Ultimately, it was For Good or for Awesome that overpowered con Queso at 270-130. The night ended with a preview of coming attractions, including an interactive research and development session on the future of New Age Pool. Watch out for NAP², coming to pool tables everywhere this summer.